In this difficult time for all of us, the need for psychological support is extremely urgent. Adults and children who are in a state of acute stress need external support.
How to understand that your loved one is not well? As a rule, it is noticeable. Pay attention to the events that happened in his/her life: were there any losses, changes in life (even positive ones), illnesses, moving to another city, changing the place of work (education), emotional difficulties, etc. If so, perhaps your help will be timely.
How to act next to a person who is experiencing stress in order to help him and, most importantly, not to harm him? What to do first? If we talk about support in general, it is easiest to support a person with words. Come and say: "I'm with you", "I hear you", "I sympathize with you", "Do you want a hug?", "How are you?", "I'm sorry that this happened", "I love you". Try to remain in the position of an adult. Invite an interlocutor to her, ask: "What can be done?", "How can I be useful?". Such questions help a person to understand his own needs, and he will be able to realize some of them on his own. And here is a direct question "How can I help you?" it is better not to ask. It emphasizes the "parental" position "from above" and does not contribute to the fact that a person takes responsibility for his own needs.
Call a spade a spade. Often in crisis situations, people believe that it is better not to call a spade a spade, otherwise they will injure a loved one. For example, instead of "died", they say "gone". Instead of "depression" - "he doesn't feel well", "he's not all right". Calling a spade a spade is a great support for a traumatized person. This is how you outline reality, which helps you accept it and live it. When a person is in a state of shock, he temporarily loses access to the part of the brain that is responsible for rational thinking. In such a case, it is very difficult to reassure a person with the words "everything will be fine", "calm down", etc. After all, there is a delay in the perception of this information.
The best way to calm down a person and his return to rational thinking is controlled breathing. Don't judge what happened. Evaluations are always rationalization, that is, avoidance of feelings. And a person cannot avoid his emotions during the grieving period, he must live them. Everything else - later.
How to help when a person is hysterical? Signs: excessive excitement, many movements, emotionally saturated speech, fast, shouting, sobbing. Create a calm atmosphere. You should stay with your loved one alone if it is safe for you. Unexpectedly perform an action that can be very surprising (for example, loudly clap your hands). Speak with a loved one in short phrases, in a confident tone.
Stupor. How to help? Signs: a sharp decrease or absence of movements and speech; lack of reactions to external stimuli (noise, light); freezing in a certain position, a state of complete immobility. Approach the person, slowly take their hand and invite them to walk with you. Use phrases like, "You can't stay here," "You need help," etc. A person, being in a stupor, can hear and see. Therefore, speak quietly, slowly and clearly in her ear.
Depression, what to do? Depression is an illness characterized by a persistent depressed state and loss of interest in any normally pleasurable activity, as well as an inability to perform daily tasks for at least two weeks. Depression is not just a constant decrease in mood, pessimism and a desire for solitude. It is a mental disorder that leads to serious consequences. A person loses the ability to enjoy life, he is not given a solution to difficult tasks, he is prone to negative ways out of any situation. But this condition can be corrected. If your loved one has not yet been to a psychologist or doctor, gently persuade them to seek help.
Ask if the person wants to talk? Sometimes the most important thing you can do for a depressed friend is to simply listen empathetically while they talk about what's bothering them, allowing them to release the tension of unspoken emotions. This can make his mental and emotional state more tolerable. It is important to really listen (not pretend) and not interrupt. Of course, we all want to help loved ones in trouble and often offer seemingly valid ways to solve a problem. But sometimes people just need to speak up without listening to advice.
Plan for the future. Don't be afraid to dream together and plan what you will do after the war. Such reflections and conversations inspire and stabilize, as well as give confidence in the future.
